saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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