Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
