So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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