Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
