remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I will pee on everything he values.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
