My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
