butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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