Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
