just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
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franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
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We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water