his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Randomize
