"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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