Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
