He asked to "fluff my boner.."
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
