think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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