I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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