Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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