matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it was like eating out sand paper
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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