Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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