just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
