Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize