so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I want to be your penis for a week.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
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