You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
