yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize