Having a random hookup so left but love u
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize