Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
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Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
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After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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