I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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