i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
