They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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