is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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