Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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