I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
