we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
