I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
