so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize