..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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