But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
