Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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