Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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