She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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