dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
