lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He felt like a one man threesome
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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