You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
