My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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