Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
