i would punch a child for taco bell
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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