you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
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Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
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Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize