Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.