ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
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Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
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You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away