he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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