I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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