so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
