Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
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Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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