I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
