weddingsv make me drug and hornr
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
