Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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