sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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