chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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