She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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