Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize
