Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
