whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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