dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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