I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
