My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
