Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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