I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you traded sex for a burrito?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
