I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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