at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
