That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
